Posting naked photos of yourself on the internet is something most girls are warned against their whole life. We are told it is “slutty” and “reckless” and it will inevitably cause us shame and regret in the future. The consistent, undisputed message (at least in my experience) has always been:
“THIS IS NOT OK!”
I have an exhibitionist side and have been enjoying posting topless photos of myself on FetLife for the last few months. I like my boobs and feel confident showing them off, so this hasn’t really caused me a second thought. Until recently that is…
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend took a photo of me laying naked on his bed, covered in melted wax. I actually really liked the photo and thought it would be fun to post on here. But that thought was immediately met with an unexpected twang of anxiety… This wasn’t just a topless photo like the others 😬 This would be my whole body completely naked for all to see 😰
THIS IS NOT OK!
My thoughts filled with fear and judgement:
“Don’t post it.”
“This is too much”
“Once it’s out there you can never take it back.”
“Do you really want to just let complete strangers see you naked?”
“This is disrespectful to yourself”
I thought about this for a few days, until I eventually realised that none of these thoughts were my own. They were all other people’s opinions that I had unwittingly picked up and internalised.
I decided to really ask myself how I felt about it. Not how other people have told me I should feel about it. But how do I feel about it personally???
The answer was clear as day…
FYI I’ve had some fairly serious body image issues in the past, and still struggle with this regularly. The fact that I feel GOOD about sharing a naked photo of myself online, and actually feel sexy and proud of how my body looks… that’s pretty fucking amazing actually. 😎😎😎
After coming to this realisation, I posted the photo without hesitation.
This is one example of what kink is teaching me. That it’s ok to make choices that go against what most people believe, so long as they are the right choices for me.
Also, that if I feel proud of how my body looks, that is something to be celebrated and embraced, instead of hidden by shame and fear. If I feel sexy and beautiful, then it’s ok for me to want to share that.
In fact, it’s fucking awesome 😉
(Originally posted to Fetlife)
