Have you ever believed something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe as a kid, you were told you were “not sporty” or “a crybaby,” and you ended up carrying those labels with you throughout your life because that’s what you were taught to believe.
That’s exactly what happened to me. I grew up thinking I was a “wuss.” My family never believed I could handle pain, and for a long time, I believed them.
When I first discovered kink, I was convinced I wouldn’t enjoy any kind of pain play. “I’m way too much of a chicken for that!” I’d tell my partners. But over time, a light spank here and there turned into something more intense. Before I knew it, I was being flogged full force with a belt, and still asking for more.
Hmm… maybe I wasn’t such a “wuss” after all. 🤔
Exploring kink over the past few years has allowed me to test my limits and uncover a whole new side of myself I never knew existed. I learned how resilient I truly am, and that, in the right context, I could even enjoy pain! 🔥
These discoveries in the kink world eventually gave me the courage to do something I’d always wanted to do in my vanilla life: get a tattoo. For years, I convinced myself I’d never be able to handle the pain, even though I desperately wanted one. But the narrative was shifting. Kink showed me I could take a serious flogging with a smile on my face—surely I could handle a tattoo too, right?
There was only one way to find out. So, on Thursday last week, my best friend took me down to Black Temple Tattoo, and I got my first ink.
My hypothesis was correct. When the artist pressed the needle against my skin, I realised I could handle it. Sure, it stung but it was nothing I hadn’t felt from a bare-hand spanking before 😈 And when the pain intensified, I drew on my “kink headspace” to ground myself and make it through.
It might be just a small tattoo, but I can’t tell you how proud I feel. It is proof that all those stories of me being a “wuss” were false. They were simply other people’s projections that I had internalised. Kink gave me the confidence to believe in myself again.
That’s one of the beautiful things about kink: it provides a safe space to push boundaries and explore emotions and sensations we might never have realised we were capable of. And it’s not just about pain. Kink can help us overcome all sorts of limiting beliefs. Maybe you’ve always seen yourself as a “people pleaser,” but kink allows you to explore your power as a Dom. Or perhaps you’ve felt burdened by the need to be a “responsible adult,” only to discover through little space how playful and silly you can be.
It doesn’t matter what you’re into; what matters is that kink helps us learn who we are—and often, we’re so much more than we thought.
If you’d like to hear more about this journey, I dive into my first tattoo experience in this week’s podcast episode. I’d love for you to give it a listen!
