The term “submissive” is an umbrella that covers many different roles within kink. To help you navigate, I’ll outline some of the most common types of submissives, so you can see what resonates with you. This list is by no means exhaustive—kink is a vast and nuanced world, and your sexuality is as unique as you are. As you explore, pay attention to what excites you, what doesn’t appeal, and what piques your curiosity. These insights will guide you in discovering more about your sexuality and the types of play you might enjoy.
The Bad Sub:
The bad submissive wants to be punished. This role often involves being called a “naughty girl/boy” and might include impact play such as spanking. Bad subs often enjoy roleplays where they’ve been caught breaking the rules or doing something mischievous. A common example is student/teacher roleplays.
The Good Sub:
The good sub craves praise for pleasing their Dom. They get off on hearing their Dom’s enjoyment and respond well to being called a “good girl/boy” or being rewarded. This may extend to what’s called a “praise kink,” where consistent praise and rewards are a significant turn-on.
The Brat:
The Brat wants to challenge their Dom and lose. They enjoy pushing back against commands or teasing their Dom to provoke a reaction. Bratty play is popular because it can be playful and allows the sub to take an active role in the scene. Instead of just following directions, they use creativity to surprise the Dom with disobedient behaviour.
The Degradee:
The Degradee is similar to the Bad Sub, but with a focus on psychological masochism through degradation. This role may involve being called derogatory names like “slut,” “sissy,” or “whore.” Degradation play can include being tied up in ways that feel embarrassing or objectifying the sub as a sexual object. Degradees usually pair with sadistic Doms who take pleasure in administering degradation.
Adult Babies, Littles, and Middles:
These roles involve ageplay, where the submissive takes on a persona much younger than their actual age. The names—Adult Babies, Littles, and Middles—suggest the general age range of their personas. This type of play often involves indulging in nostalgic sensory experiences, such as wearing diapers, smelling baby powder, or sucking on pacifiers. For some, this includes psychological regression, a vulnerable state that requires extra care. While some age players prefer to explore this kink alone, others enjoy being cared for by a partner.
Pets:
A “pet” is a submissive who takes on an animal persona, such as a kitten, puppy, or pony. The personality of a pet can vary widely; some pets are playful and affectionate, while others might be more obedient and docile, or even mischievous. Most pets enjoy being cared for and doted on by their “owner.” Some pets may also enjoy a mild element of degradation, such as wearing a collar and leash, or eating from a pet bowl. Costumes, like ears, tails, or even full outfits, can help the pet fully assume their chosen persona. For some, pet play is not sexual and is more about the playful or nurturing dynamic, while for others, it can be an erotic experience.
The following two groups involve being on the receiving end of power exchange but don’t always include psychological submission. While many rope bottoms and masochists do identify as submissive and incorporate submission into their play, others do not and instead focus purely on the physical sensations or the experience of being restrained.
Rope Bunnies / Rope Bottoms:
A rope bunny is someone who enjoys being tied up in ropes. While some rope bunnies embrace the submissive aspect of being bound, others may not identify as submissive at all. For them, the experience of rope play might be more about the physical sensation, the artistry of the ties, or the meditative state it can induce. Rope bondage is an incredibly diverse type of play, offering a wide range of experiences and emotions—from feeling helpless and vulnerable to achieving a deep state of relaxation or even spiritual connection.
Masochists:
Masochists derive pleasure from pain, whether through impact play, rope bondage, electroplay, fire play, sharps play, and other types of pain play. While many masochists incorporate submission into their play and enjoy the power dynamic, others focus exclusively on the sensory experience of pain without engaging in psychological submission.
As you can see, there are many types of submissive roles, each with its unique characteristics. Identifying as submissive doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy all of these roles, but you may find that several resonate with you or spark your curiosity. Take a moment to review this list and note any roles that appeal to you. This will help you determine the types of play you want to explore and the partners you’ll be most compatible with. If none of these roles resonate with you, that’s okay too! Sexuality is deeply personal, and many people have specific turn-ons that fall outside the most common categories.
Note:
This writing is an excerpt from a book I am currently working on, aimed at helping new kinksters find their way in kink. If you have any feedback for me on the ways I have defined these roles, or if I am missing something important, please let me know!
