When people think of Shibari, they often picture intricate knots, suspensions, and beautiful patterns. But there is more to rope than the ties themselves. Creating powerful rope scenes isn’t just about technique—it’s about connection, intimacy, and attunement. The way you move, pause, and interact shapes the experience just as much as the rope itself.
In a recent episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I spoke with Miss Gen, a Shibari Master Instructor, who shared insights from her T.A.R.D.I.S class—which focuses on everything that makes rope play immersive and emotionally charged, beyond the rope itself (visit Evil Girls HQ for more information). While her class offers a deep dive into this topic, here I want to explore some of the foundational ideas to get you started.
🎧 For a deeper dive, including an in-depth discussion of Miss Gen’s personal story and teachings, listen to my latest podcast episode: #80: Rope Mastery & Mind Games: A Shibari Masterclass – with Miss Gen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
Start with a Conversation
During negotiations before play, it’s important to talk about what you both want from the experience. Different people respond to rope in different ways—some crave deep surrender, others love playful teasing, while some seek an intense power exchange.
Ask questions like:
- What emotions are we trying to create?
- What kind of energy do we want to bring into this scene?
The Power of Anticipation
Many people rush into tying, eager to get to the ‘main event’ of the scene. But the part before the rope touches the body is a crucial stage of building anticipation will make the rest of the scene even more intense.
Miss Gen shared that in her own scenes, she might take up to 15 minutes before a rope touches the body. Instead of jumping straight into tying, she uses that time to build presence, connection, and tension.
“I’ve been known to do scenes where I carry almost every implement in my space over to where I’m going to tie—while they’re kneeling there waiting.” – Miss Gen
Try this in your next scene:
- Lay out your rope and tools deliberately, letting your partner take them in.
- Move around them slowly—watch them, observe their reactions.
- Take your time assessing them with your gaze, and choosing your first movement deliberately.
- Watch their reaction—do they tense, relax, shift their weight?
- When you allow anticipation to naturally build, your partner becomes more engaged in the experience before you’ve even made a single tie.
The Space Between the Ties
Many beginners rush from one tie to the next. But rope isn’t just about the knots—it’s about how you move through the scene. These moments of transition are super important! It’s when a rope bottom sinks into the tie, processes what’s happening, and fully feels the impact of the scene.
When you complete a tie, pausing to observe your partner can add a lot to the experience.
Miss Gen describes this beautifully:
“One of the most common things I see within newer rope tops is the desire to rush—to move through. They get someone into a position and then go, ‘Yay! Now onto the next thing.’ And I always say, ‘No. Stop. Step back. Watch them. Savor it.’” – Miss Gen
Try this in your next scene:
After securing a tie, pause. Step back and observe them. Watch their breath and body language. Give them time to fully feel what you’ve just done. Let them enjoy the moment before moving on. By slowing down and allowing space for the emotion of the tie to settle, you create a richer, more connected experience for both of you.
You Don’t Need Years of Training—Start Practicing This Now
One of the best things about this approach is that anyone can start practicing it, no matter where they are in their rope journey. You don’t need to be an experienced rigger or a skilled rope bottom to start focusing on connection, attunement, and intimacy.
How to Begin:
- Pay attention to your partner’s breathing and body language.
- Pause between movements and let the moment land.
- Experiment with movement and tension—adjust your pacing, positioning, and how you interact with the rope.
- Stay present. A great rope scene isn’t about how fast or fancy your ties are—it’s about how engaged and connected you are with your partner.
When you approach rope with curiosity, presence, and intentionality, even the simplest ties can become deeply meaningful and unforgettable.
Want to Dive Deeper? Listen to My Podcast with Miss Gen
If you found this interesting, you’ll love my conversation with Miss Gen on Turns Out I’m Into It. We discuss these ideas in depth, including how she teaches them in her T.A.R.D.I.S class.
📺 Watch the full episode on Youtube.
🎧 Or listen on your favorite podcasting platform (Apple Podcasts, Spotify).
What’s your experience with these elements of rope? Have you played with anticipation, tension, or movement in your own scenes? Let me know in the comments!
