Harley's Blog
How to Create Powerful Rope Scenes (at any Level!)
When people think of Shibari, they often picture intricate knots, suspensions, and beautiful patterns. But there is more to rope than the ties themselves. Creating unforgettable rope scenes isn’t just about technique—it’s about connection, intimacy, and attunement. The way you move, pause, and interact shapes the experience just as much as the rope itself.
How to Play with Gender in BDSM
Most of us don’t realise just how much gender influences the way we play in BDSM. Whether we’re reinforcing traditional roles (masculine dominance, feminine submission) or flipping them entirely (femdom, feminisation, sissification), gender is woven into our desires in ways we might not even notice.
BDSM is one of the few spaces where we get to play with gender roles on our own terms—exploring power, submission, and self-expression in ways that might not feel possible in everyday life.
Why Dominance is More Than Just Control
Dominance is often misunderstood. In pop culture, it is portrayed as something purely physical: whips, leather, and a towering presence that commands submission. But true dominance is not about shouting orders or wielding power over someone else. As BDSM expert and intimacy coach Shelby Devlin explains, dominance is a psychological art. It is about creating a container of trust, safety, and anticipation, allowing the submissive to let go and surrender fully.
Babygirl – A Thought-Provoking Look at Kink, Shame, and Desire
Sharing sexual fantasies with your partner can feel like one of the most vulnerable conversations you’ll ever have. After all, these are deeply personal, intimate desires that you might not even have fully accepted yourself. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle to open up about them. But when done thoughtfully, sharing your fantasies can create a deeper connection, foster intimacy, and even make your relationship more fun and exciting.
How to Tell Your Partner What You’re Really Into… (Even If It’s Super Scary)
Sharing sexual fantasies with your partner can feel like one of the most vulnerable conversations you’ll ever have. After all, these are deeply personal, intimate desires that you might not even have fully accepted yourself. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle to open up about them. But when done thoughtfully, sharing your fantasies can create a deeper connection, foster intimacy, and even make your relationship more fun and exciting.
How do I feel less shame about my fantasies?
Have you ever had a fantasy you couldn’t stop thinking about—but felt too embarrassed or ashamed to even admit it to yourself? If so, you’re not alone. Shame around sexual fantasies is incredibly common, thanks to societal taboos, fear of judgment, and the internalized belief that our fantasies say something negative about who we are.
4 Misconceptions About Women’s Sexuality (And What You’re Getting Wrong)
This week I’m challenging some common beliefs and misconceptions around woman’s sexually that I hear all the time. Let me know what you think!
For a deeper dive into these topics, check out episode #73 of my podcast Turns Out I’m Into it – available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Who Really Has the Problem? A Reflection on Shaming Teenage Sexuality.
Have you ever believed something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe as a kid, you were told you were “not sporty” or “a crybaby,” and you ended up carrying those labels with you throughout your life because that’s what you were taught to believe.
How Kink Showed Me I’m Strong Enough to Get a Tattoo
Have you ever believed something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe as a kid, you were told you were “not sporty” or “a crybaby,” and you ended up carrying those labels with you throughout your life because that’s what you were taught to believe.
